Sunday, September 13, 2009


Once women have children, it is as though we lose our social skills. Sure, we're tired. And yes, we spend an inordinate amount of time with a person under the age of one gooing and gahing. But, I'm trying to figure out when exactly we lose our skills to interact on a social level with our peers. I'm being serious here. If you have a child under the age of four and are with a group of two or more women, it is virtually inevitable that two topics will dominate the conversation. Again, serious here. I've actually tested it. Just this past week, I went to a play-group for the first time and within twenty minutes (at least we had those glorious twenty minutes), it went to the first topic which then flowed into the second. Luckily, after a few moments, Baby cried and I whisked her over to the bench to catch a moment of respite.

Topics? Labor and Children

I mean, sure, most women have experienced these two topics (unless there was an adoption). But, why, WHY do we have to relive labor?? It's something I'd actually not recount if possible. And why is it the one time during the day we have a chance to interact with other adults, do we spend the entire time talking about the children that we've been with all day?

It's as though we lose our interesting-factor. And even more, we isolate everyone else who isn't a Mom from our world (men, single women, and child-less couples). We suddenly become these lackluster, sweat-wearing, makeup-less, tired, whiney, one-dimensional Moms. I can't count how many times I heard Moms at this playgroup last week talk about how tired they were, how their in-laws were unhelpful and how little Janie hadn't had a bowel movement in the last 24 hours. And while we may feel those things, do we really want to spend our few precious minutes of peer-time talking about it? What happen to our adventurous selves that loved to discuss politics, the latest best-selling novel, places to travel, prime-time tv, new foods to eat and fashion for the fall?

As of today, I have one Fall Resolution: to become more interesting. So long whining about my lack of sleep, goodbye complaining about my son that knows how to push every single button of mine, tootle-loo labor stories and tata venting about the in-laws (just kidding S & S). Stay tuned, the new me is approaching.


  1. I think moms resort to those topics because it is something we all have in common but I say you can change the discussion! Perhaps don't mention politics (at least until you know your fellow playgroup moms better!) but bring up another topic and I'm sure they'll all chime in. You'll have to report back :)

  2. You're right, I think that is exactly why we talk about these topics, because of commonality. It is something easy to talk about, we've all experienced and everyone can feel involved. But boy does it get B-O-R-I-N-G!! It takes more work, sometime, to go out of your comfort zone and talk about other topics. Keep you postee!:)

  3. Dear Caroline-
    I am a reader of your blog and came across this entry. I have to admit it did make me chuckle to myself because it is so true.
    Child etiquette question #1:
    If we are having a play group and my friends start in on the labor stories, how do I politely redirect the conversation? What do I do if I get a blank stare when discussing my dream of ... (something interesting)?
    Please respond ASAP.
    ... mom desperate for adult conversation

  4. Hi Caroline,
    I started reading your blog sometime last year after our mutual dear friend, Rachel (Veazey) Temple told me about it. You could not have hit closer to home with your latest post. I was just thinking the other night that I have noticed a serious decline in phone calls and social invitations since having Henry. For a while I attributed it to people being polite and respectful of me being a new mom but now I'm realizing it's because I'm not as interesting as I once was. I am joining you in your Fall resolution! Also, my sister is just down the road from y'all in South Royalton, VT. I would love if y'all could meet sometime, I think it would be nice for her to have a Southern soul to converse with (on non-child related topics).
    Elisabeth Hunter

  5. sent you a message via facebook, but wanted to post a comment as well....
    As I said in the messge, THERE IS NOT A BORING BONE IN YOUR BODY!!! KIDS OR NO KIDS!!! keep on posting on your blog!!! love it!